Christiaan Jansen Van Vuuren
IT Manager/Coordinator, Kamoa
- This website is dedicated to Christiaan Jansen Van Vuuren from Nelspruit, Mpumalanga, South Africa and will stay true to its mission.
- It is crowdfunded by his ex and current colleagues.
- Many thanks for a total generous donation of US$ 62.5 so far. All donations will be matched by me.
- Click on donate/share with more colleagues on social media please. If you can’t donate money, share your comments and I will edit this website.
Dankie.
Christiaan Jansen Van Vuuren - Chris VV
The Brief Resume
Mining IT Coordinator /Manager
Chris in Assmang
Christiaan Jansen Van Vuuren’s career began in a non-descript Machadodorp smelter called Assmang with a team of 2 IT personnel in South Africa for 10 years. A decade of changing keyboards and troubleshoot Windows OS as IT Administrator. Nothing to see here just like Chris’s empty original LinkedIn profile. So let’s move on like Chris did to Two Rivers.
Chris in Two Rivers Mining Company
Chris VV was an IT Developer in Two Rivers Mining Company. His job description include doing everything whether he called himself IT Admin or IT Superintendent there. Jack of all trades: Changing keyboards/cabling, telling IT manager how nice, wonderful and funny he is. And master of one: mismanaging resources and work. A non-specific position imply a lack of experience, knowledge on Chris’s part and lack of budget on Two River’s part. A marriage made in heaven which last only 7 years.
Chris in Kamoa Copper Mining Company
Chris was a part of mass exit from Two Rivers staff to Kamoa Copper mining project in DRC. I have confirmation he got there as IT Coordinator/Manager/Superintendent likely on senior level. How he qualified for a senior managerial position in such big company from his IT Developer position is easy guess for anyone who know him well. For those who don’t read to find his skill set below.
August 2021 Update: As per a unconfirmed message to me he is now a Business Systems Superintendent or Business Systems Manager. Why take a small part of IT to give to so called Mr. Senior IT Superintendent/Coordinator/Manager? Is it because his incompetence is now caught by Kamoa management? You can be judge of that
Christiaan Jansen Van Vuuren - Education and Key Skills
What LinkedIn does not include about Chris’s Education and Key Skills:
- Licking boots of superiors: Get them coffee, laugh at their jokes even when not funny. He knows all the technical SQL commands for kissing a$$. Don’t have his own management direction, keep repeating to his staff what his boss say.
- Incompetence: While Chris lacks ability to utilize resources efficiently or engage with company management, he has mastered skill of doing nothing. Why to learn or do something when you can make subordinates do your work and take credit for it. SQL skills for him are Sleep Quite a Lot skills.
- Stealing Credit: Chris has a masters MSC degree (no honors). Master in Stealing Credit.
- Harassing Subordinate: While Chris exaggerate about JDE by saying he implemented it at 6 different projects. What can not be debated is how he is skilled with JHE (Juniors Harassment Environment) implementation. My bru is champion at harassing the junior staff because that is his favorite activity.
- Fake Show: Asking questions (he knows answers for) to juniors in front of people and higher management to show how much he is working.
- Development: His JDE skill are questionable but his development of poisonous work culture cannot be faulted.
Key Insights into Mind of Christiaan Jansen Van Vuuren
A professional psychoanalysis of Chris Jansen Van Vuuren’s behavior and actions reveal the following:
- Chris VV is inherently a coward who is afraid to stand up to authority even when he has the right. Unconditional compliance and subservience is used by him as a tool to climb ranks and maintain his position compensating for a lack of technical know-how in the domain.
- The control he loses because of unconditional compliance and subservience to the authority, is exerted by him on his colleagues in form of incessant bullying, yelling, unprofessional behavior, and emotional manipulation.
- He also believes in withholding information and using it as a weapon to intimidate and manipulate his juniors.
- His lack of confidence in his technical knowledge (or total absence of it) is expressed as a shameless claim on credit for the ideas of his team members and presenting them as their own in front of higher management.
- He suffers an impostor syndrome because of his overstatement of capabilities that he does not possess. He has hence become unwilling to admit that he doesn’t know something. Thereby, his insecurity is compensated in form of acting like a dictator than a colleague. He, hence, also finds comfort in pitting team members against each other in order to feel capable and smarter than rest.
- His self-centered attitude with an overdose of subservient megalomania does not allow him to appreciate anyone ever for anything well done.
- Once his agenda is achieved he discards people immediately. That’s another way he feels in control and in power.
- He is a casual sexist, homophobe, and a misogynist.
Thanks to my psychiatrist for this contribution.
There is a Chris Jansen Van Vuuren Movie !
Assmang Colleague Review
A performance true to himself. A performance that nobody wants and nobody deserves. Fliek is vol kak.
Two River Mining Company Colleague Review
Thanks for taking this movie away from us Kamoa. We’d rather not waste our time watching it again. We envy those who have never watched it.
Kamoa Mining Company Colleague Review
I have nothing against size of people but I hope the actor loses weight so there’ll be less of a disappointment walking around.
Notable Quotes by Chris
Chris Jansen Van Vuuren is known for his valuable quotes to inspire productivity in slaves in his kingdom. Some of his most intelligent sounding and almost coherent quotes are:
“It’s critical.”
“I am concerned!”
“Solution design!”
“Ehhhhhhhh”
“Nehhhhhhh”
Thanks! Dankie!
To all those who contribute money or comments. Visit again as website will be constantly updated till the day our mission is achieved.